The curse of the left, part 2

According to Wikipedia, the term “right” is not only a synonym for correctness, but also stands for authority and justice. Meanwhile, the term “left” is associated with words such as sinister, evil or unlucky.

“Left” is rarely used positively. When was the last time you encouraged someone with “left on!”? Has ‘Two Left Feet’ ever been a compliment? What about phrases like “left behind” or “leftover?”

Let’s see how “left” is used in the Bible…

In Matthew we learn:

“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.” Matthew 25:31-33

I read this & instantly think two things:

• Sure, the nice & cuddly sheep are on the right.
• Uh-oh, the goats are on the left (something tells me this isn’t going to end well…).

Continuing on…

“Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.”…“And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.” Matthew 25:41, 46

Oh yeah, I was right. Ouch.

Throughout the Psalms, we see that the strong right hand of the Lord…

• supports me
• seizes all who hate you
• is filled with victory
• holds me securely
• is lifted high in glorious strength
• saves me

The place of honor is at God’s right hand. And where will the Son of Man be seated? On the left? No… Why He’ll be at God right hand of course! (Matthew 26:64)

So what gives? Does God frown on the left? What does that say for Democrats or left brainers or left handed people like me?

It seems evident that everything in this life, and beyond this life, is centered around ‘the right’. Maybe all this is telling me that I should make sure that Grady turns out right handed after all, unless I’m sure that he is going to be the next Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Lou Gehrig or Phil Mickelson (all lefties).

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The curse of the left

I noticed the other day that Grady was grabbing things with his left hand.

Could it be?

Is one of my kids going to take after me & be a…lefty?

Did you know that only 13% of people in the world are left-handed? Yep, we’re a rare commodity. Now, being a lefty has a few perks. I can think of two instances in particular where us lefties rule:

• We naturally tap into the creative side of our brains!
• We’re very desirable in baseball – we’re difficult to pitch to – ha ha ha!

However, more often than not, being a lefty comes with it’s fair share of woes. Today, I’m just going over what the world is like through the hands of a lefty. So get your violins ready as I share with you, (da da da, dum) “the curse of the left.”

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In elementary school, we were taught how to “properly” hold our pens. My teacher was right-handed, as was the rest of the entire class. I asked her if she could show me with her left hand how to hold the pen. She made her way to my desk & I kid you not, she couldn’t do it! So, her reply – “Just hold the pen how you want to Kelly.” Okay, so I did & this is what it looked like:

It wasn’t until I was in high school that a friend finally asked me, “Why do you hold your pen that way you southpaw – it looks so funny!” (it was said in love 😉 ) So, I started holding my pen “correctly.”

To this day, my hand constantly smears my writing. Growing up, we had to use those despicable erasable pens. I would have blue ink all along the side of my hand – how pretty! Not only that – have you ever tried writing in a notebook with the spiral under your hand? Oh yeah, notetaking was loads of fun.

And speaking of smeared writing…let me just say that:

Math problems + chalkboard + “left-hand” = royal pain in the rear!

(the same applies for dry erase boards!)

Lindsay, I know you feel my pain here.

A couple of other lefty curses:

• No one likes to sit by us at meal times – we’re constantly knocking elbows.
• We’re always the gloveless ones at the church softball game. Funny how there never seems to be an extra left-handed glove.
• Keeping with the sport theme – at least I have an excuse on why my golf game is so bad.
• Scissors…blasted things!
• Refrigerator door handle…on the left.
• Stick-shift cars are definitely a no go for me.
• Can openers…well, I’ve learned to adapt.

Gotta a few things left to talk about for tomorrow.

How about it lefties (are there any of you out there 🙂 )?

Anything else drive you crazy?

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