Just got the call.
Grandma June Domagala is Home now.
Just got the call.
Grandma June Domagala is Home now.
I have friends who have recently lost or are losing a loved one.
Tristi’s dad just went Home.
Christine’s grandmother will be there soon.
I just got home from the hospital.
My own grandmother is going Home soon as well.
I received a call today that her system is shutting down. Her feeding tube & all IV meds have been removed. The only assistance she has is an oxygen tube. The doctor said it’s just a matter of time now.
I was there with my uncle, aunt & two cousins. They all left not long after I arrived. I wasn’t ready to leave, so I stayed to talk to Grandma. She was unresponsive, but I’ve heard that people are still able to hear you even in that state. I was able to say my goodbye & say what was on my heart.
My time there was, in a way, surreal.
The last time I was in a hospital room, I was celebrating the birth of my nephew.
Tonight, I was watching someone die.
For two hours I watched her breathe, wondering if each breath would be her last.
For two hours I watched the clock. It’s strange – normally when I watch the clock, I feel propelled forward. Tonight, it felt like a countdown.
As I am writing this, I’m looking down at the hospital band on my wrist.
I can’t take it off yet.
For nearly two years, he called Ava, “Mine,” but now it’s just Ava.
The other day, we were looking at a family picture & he was naming everybody.
“That’s Mommy, that’s Daddy, that’s Ava, that’s Garrett & that’s…”
That’s all he calls Grady now.
All day it’s:
“Come on Cootie, let’s go!”
“Oh no Mommy, Cootie fell down!”
And of course, who could leave out:
“No, no, no, Cootie, bad boy you!”
Too coot, err, cute!!
We went out to lunch with friends after church yesterday & Adam shared one of my favorite “while we were dating” stories.
What I can tell you, is this baby was named, “The Humbler.” He called it this because having to drive it kept him humble.
One day, he offered to pick up my brother, Brandon, from school. So, my mom told Brandon, “Adam is going to pick you up today in ‘The Humbler.'”
What my brother, who was 12 years old at the time, heard was, “Adam is going to pick you up today in the HUMMER.”
(okay, I do know that that is a really nice car 🙂 )
So, my brother bragged to all his little 6th grade friends that he was going to ride in a Hummer. They all gathered after school waiting to see this beauty.
As it turned out, Adam ended up being late picking my brother up. By the time he got there, only Brandon was left. But boy, was he speechless when he saw him or should I say, the car. They always joke that it was like Uncle Buck pulling up in the movie!
So, being a little lover of “what ifs,” whenever I hear this story, I always wonder what would have happened if Adam had been on time that day!
I think that some of Brandon’s friends would have thought Adam was so cool if he pulled up in a Hummer. I also suspect those same friends would have thought Adam was a loser when he pulled up the “The Humbler.”
Here’s the thing.
The guy in either car is the same.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the following logic:
appearance + judgment = worth
First of all, it’s never okay to pass judgment on a person because of their appearance.
The Bible teaches us “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:2
Also, who are we to determine a person’s worth? Our worth in God’s eyes is immeasurable!
Bottom line…our job is not to judge – it is to love.
Besides, last time I checked, there is only one Judge and we aren’t Him! 😉
Ava did it.
Garrett did it.
So, I knew it was only a matter of time before Grady did it too.
What is it with babies loving to take off their diaper?
He got this grin on his face & everytime I tried to stick the tabs down, he’d pull them off.
So, no big deal, right? Just stick a onesie on him and voila – problem solved!
Later in the day, he got his onesie all messy from lunch (gotta love beef-a-roni!)
So, I went upstairs to get him a new shirt, but I kept his pants on.
I repeat, the boy’s pants were ON.
I came back downstairs only to find this:
He’d taken the diaper off, but thought, “hey, I think I’ll keep the bottoms on!” Ava & I couldn’t stop giggling!
hmmm… I think he enjoyed watching that lunar eclipse a little too much!
There’s this chill in the air that strikes my very core & I just can’t seem to warm up. Lately, all I’ve wanted to do is stay home, wrapped up in my electric blanket!
I’m also tired of the gray skies. The world outside just seems kind of dreary, you know?
Anyway, this winter has been more than a physical season.
I’ve been going through my own personal winter.
Over the past two months I’ve gone through some trying times. Its effected my personal life, my spiritual life & honesty, my entire outlook on life.
I haven’t felt like being with family or friends. I haven’t felt like blogging. There were days when all I did was go through the motions. It was like I was on autopilot. I was emotionally drained & didn’t want to “feel” because feeling meant hurting.
Winters can be lonely.
I got to a place where I didn’t really know who I could trust, so I drew inward. I was hurt & found myself continually questioning things that I used to consider secure. It’s odd. I know that my winters are the times when I need to draw close to God – He wants me to draw close to Him. Yet, I continually found myself placing a wedge in the middle of this relationship.
I wanted an instant fix. What I got was a time of real reexamination & reevaluation. The last place I wanted to be was on my knees. But eventually, I realized that I wasn’t going anywhere until I fell there first. Ultimately, my desire had to overpower my dismay.
I’ve learned & grown a lot during my winter. I’ve been stretched during this time & I’m at a place now where I can say I am thankful for this winter.
Winters are okay.
They may seem dismal and dark, but ultimately, spring does come.
Today, I laughed.
I laughed so long that I couldn’t breathe.
I laughed so much that there were tears in my eyes.
I laughed so hard that it hurt.
I laughed so deep that something that was hibernating inside of me, woke up.
Today, I felt like me again.
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.